Please come home for Christmas

When my posts are all up to date this will all make more sense.

I am still grieving over my oldest daughter moving away.  It was a sudden move where she ran away and stayed away when she was 17.  I wasn't prepared to lose her just yet.  Had been planning our last year together.  Was a sad day when she left and even though she'll be 19 in a little over a month, I still haven't gotten over that. 

We talk to her now and then.  Things have been strange between us all since she left.  Conversations are few and far between.  The kids miss her, I miss her, and her Daddy miss her.  Her friends miss her, I guess you can say we all miss her.  She is dear to my heart. 

Christmas is particularly painful.  Kasey has always been with us for Christmas.  It doesn't seem right at all to have Christmas without her.  Putting up the tree has a new empty feeling it never had before.  You can't help but feel that something is missing.  Well, not something, but someone... my daughter.  It's just not right without her. 

The possibility is here and we are excited that she may be coming to join us for Christmas.  Of course like any mother would - I'd love it if she'd decide to stay here with us and not go back so far far away.  So I was talking to my husband with my 2 other children age 5 and 8 in the back seat.  I said to my husband, "I just have to be prepared for my heart to break again if she does come." My 8 year old said, "Yeah she already broke my heart when she left."  Then the 5 year old said, "She broke my heart when she left too." Then the 8 year old concluded with, "Well not literally." 

Really cheered up a gloomy thought!