Friendships

It is sad to think of all the memories in my past that I don't have.  Have you ever thought about the missing memories in your life?  Well, I have.  Particularly when I've run into old friends and we start to take a trip down memory lane.  It always comes about where someone might say something like, "Hey, remember that time when we took off all our clothes and danced in the rain and we got caught by the police and ...." OK OK relax - that was not a true example.  Ha, had you going there didn't I!  Seriously though I've gotten thrown off my horse as dear friends of mine have told this heart felt memory to me of theirs and I just sit with my eyes glazed over at what a great time that must have been and wishing for the life of me that I could remember.  Then, what do you say to your friend?  Of course you COULD just tell the truth and say, "Oh man, sounds like fun but I have no idea what on earth you are talking about."  My gosh that sounds rude.  Honestly there's no polite way to say you don't remember.  In my past I shared some special days, special moments, and fun times with these dear friends, and those times have been forgotten.  How do you tell someone you forgot?  It is so sad.  I wish I could relive a lot of my days.  I know some would not be worth reliving, but I do wish I could.  Even if I couldn't change a thing.  Life goes by way too fast.  I wonder if when we die, our entire life really does "flash before our eyes" like a long rerun. 

Here's some of what I do remember about a few of my dear friends. 

The first friend I remember having was Marie White.  She was in my first grade class and we were also in brownies together.  She had a way of standing out from the others.  If I remember right, she had a way of getting herself in trouble in class from time to time.  We both proudly wore our Brownie Girl Scout Troop 24 uniforms to school on the days of our meetings.  We marched in parades, went camping, and even made home made applesauce.  I wish I remember more about brownies. 

I remember when Marie first asked me to "sleep over" her house.  I was confused.  I was in first grade and I had no idea what a sleep over was!!  Isn't that crazy!  Marie loved her scary movies.  She loved when I slept over and we'd watch movies.  She'd enjoy freaking me out too. 

We moved around a bit and I met some kids from time to time.  When I was 9 years old we moved to Fairhaven.  That is where I consider my home town to be.  That is where most of my memories really began. 

The day we moved in I slammed my hand in a car door and cried for a while.  I couldn't milk it though, it was too exciting.  I loved the house, loved my room, and best of all IT HAD A POOL!!  I was pretty anxious to meet some new friends.  My mother had told me, "There's a girl your age that lives 2 houses down from us." You know how parents are always trying to help.  It was summertime, I had almost wished school was still on.  How much easier it would be to make some friends if only we were in school.

After lots of encouragement and even prodding by my mother, I finally decided to humiliate myself by knocking on some strange girls door, introducing myself, and asking if she wanted to play.  What a terrible thing to make a child do!  LOL.

The first time I made my way to Bethany's house I brought along my basket ball.  I dribbled my way down the street and passed the boys house.  Yeah I'll just call it "the boys."  It was a house filled with boys!  The family had only boys and 4 of them.  Ranging from 8 to about 13 or so.  The youngest of which was standing in the driveway as I dribbled past.  I was a terrible dribbler.  Down the street, dribbling the ball, ball bouncing into the grass, retrieve the ball, and repeat past the boys house and up the driveway to Bethany's house.  "Sorry Bethany isn't home right now, but I'll tell her you came by."  OUCH, all that nerve I had to drum up to get to that door and she wasn't even home!  My heart still thumping as a result of the nerves, I headed back home.

The youngest neighbor boy stopped me along the way.  I don't remember our exact conversation but that is when we met.  His name was David, and he became a very close and dear friend to me from then on.  He was so sweet, so cute, and so much fun to play with.  He was always my favorite of all the "boys" although I don't think I ever told him so.  We played almost every day.  Sometimes with the other neighborhood kids, and other times just the two of us.  He was one of my best friends.  Some of my sweetest childhood memories are playing with David back in the good old days.  He always stood up for me, even though he was the youngest he'd stand up to the bigger boys.  They were all older, bigger, and he was grossly outnumbered.  Yet still he always managed to stick up for me.  He got picked on for it, but he did it anyway.  This wasn't just up against his 3 brothers either, but there were other boys in the neighborhood too.  I know I was a good friend to him, but he was just a great friend and a great kid.  He just knew what was right and stood up for it.  I couldn't have asked for a better friend.  As I got older, the hazing sometimes got worse.  Even in really difficult situations, David still stuck by me and risked his own humiliation just to help me out. 

Boys can be disgusting boys and think things are funny when they are not.  They don't always know where to draw the line.  One time my best friend Kerri and I were laying in a bedroom at her grandmother's house which was across the street from my house.  No adults were home.  We were using her Dad's sun lamp and trying to get a tan.  I don't remember if we were in our underwear or a bathing suit - but it wasn't much.  Well it wasn't long and the boys found out. Kerri was lucky when it came to being picked on by the boys.  She had a big brother.  Basically they all new better than to mess with her.  Myself, I was on my own.  I was also a VERY early bloomer.  Had boobs before I new what to do with them.  Didn't know how to act about them, or what to do about the attention they caused.  Too naive to even know they caused such a problem.  So the cat was out of the bag that Kerri and I were sunbathing in the bedroom.  The boys yanked Kerri out of the room and locked me in with one boy at a time.  I am not sure what each of them wanted for sure.  They weren't bad kids really - just dumb boys.  They did try to take my clothes off but no one succeeded at doing anything.  Although they may have caught a glimpse of my boob or a feel here and there.  I was fighting them off.  I tried to get out, but the other boys would hold the door shut.  It was really terrible.  I don't know why they thought that was so funny.  David convinced them that he wanted to give it a try.  So they let him in.  That boy was my hero.  Trying to help me out.  I was able to get the rest of my clothes on.  I couldn't get out the window because the bedroom was too high.  I don't know how we pulled it off but I remember I did get out.  He probably got beat up for it.  I loved David so much for things like that.  He was a true friend.  I am really sad that I lost touch with him over the years.  Friends like that just don't come around often.  It is sad for me that he is not still a part of my life.  Not romantically of course, but as still the dear friend he was. 

Sadly, we all got older and grew our separate ways.  I got a dumb boyfriend.  Like seriously, what the heck was I thinking!?!?  I went to the vocational school in New Bedford.  David went to Fairhaven High, and I really didn't see much of him after that.  I always remembered our days together though.  Swimming in the pool, playing games, house, and even barbies.  David, Kerri, and I would get into these imaginary exploring games in the woods.  We'd find forts and club houses, reenact movies and tv shows like Star Wars and Punky Brewster.  When all the neighborhood kids were out we'd have fun with games of man hunt.  What a blast!  We'd also play war and other things too. 

I'd love to relive those days again......

I am so thankful that Kerri went to Voc with me.  I wished we'd be in the same classes, but she was on the opposite schedule and she was interested in cosmetology. I was interested in the medical program.  We both went out for the cheerleading squad when we were entering in 9th grade.  I think Kerri tried out just to be with me.  She really didn't seem like she really wanted it, you know what I mean?  She was embarrassed at the try out and kept laughing.  She didn't end up making the team but I did.  I was so sad, it wouldn't be the same without her.  I wonder if she even really wanted to make the team.  She ended up playing volley ball and I think basket ball.  I think that is where her heart truly was. 

When we were still in middle school Kerri and I both tried out for the St Josephs squad.  We heard about some cheer camp for the weekend that was held at St Joseph's School.  There was a fee for the weekend clinic, we both got excited and signed up.  After the clinic we found out that the tryouts were starting.  We learned that even though we didn't go to the school we were still allowed to try out for the team.  We were so excited!!  It was like a week long process.  They cut girls out every day.  We made it at least half way through the week.  We were having so much fun, and the excitement was building up more and more as we passed each cut.  Every day the same thing would go through our minds, and we'd ask each other on the way to try outs "Do you think we're going to make it?"

Out of nowhere I was attacked.  No not physically but with words.  St Joseph's as you might have guessed was a Catholic school.  I was approached, I am not sure how they new.  I guess it is quite possible that a jealous girl was trying to get rid of some of the competition like a scene from the movie " Mean girls."  The truth is, and I am proud to say it since it is no secret, I am not Catholic.  I am Christian, but not Catholic.  Well it turns out that the Catholic school was allowed to discriminate based on your religious views.  I was told that since I was not a student of St Joseph's and I was not Catholic, that I was not allowed to be on the team.  I was completely crushed.  Tears, sobbing, the 9 yards of it.  The next day was the final cut.  I had made it so far!  How unfair!!  Kerri was such a great friend that even though she was Catholic, she decided to drop out too.  I encouraged her to go on, I wanted her to.  She was just so upset at how unfair it was, and was so disappointed her best friend wouldn't get to be with her on the team that she dropped out.  What a friend!!  Makes me sad that I didn't drop out of high school cheering for her too.  Maybe I should have.